5 tips to bonding generations in the workplace (reading time: 12 min.)
by Mary Boza Crimmins
Returning to the physical workplace has its bonuses: reconnecting with friends, collaborating with colleagues, and even sharing about weekend escapades on a Monday morning. Nevertheless, proximity to others sometimes involves interpersonal conflict, and the generation gap can be one cause. Here’s a refresher on closing the gap and achieving more synergy within your team.
Partial disclosure here, I’m a middle-aged woman (note that it was partial as I didn’t offer my exact age). However, in my early career, I was usually the youngest person. At 19, I was a retail store manager. In my early twenties, I trained salespeople. Then came the day when I realized I was the oldest in the room. How did that happen? Experiencing overt references to my age inspired me to reflect on how ageism works. My goal here is to mitigate misperceptions based on age so that teams are more cohesive. Yes, generational peculiarities may exist, but they need not be gaps that separate. Here are five tips to bond generations in the workplace.
1. HONOR THE WATER CARRIERS
In his book Leadership Jazz, Max De Pree described the value of water carriers to an institution. Water carriers are individuals who have been with an organization for many years and who “transfer the essence of the institution to new people.” Water carriers have experienced firsthand the evolution of an organization. Sometimes the institutional history water carriers share is underappreciated. However, water carriers, like water itself, are essential to growth. Water carriers are not interested in hoarding the water; they are interested in sharing it.
While there is often tension between what is done and what should be done, it is essential to remember that a water carrier is not a naysayer. Just as with history, if corporate decision-makers don’t know the past, they repeat mistakes. Water carriers should be heard and valued. They are an integral part of a community that values experience and growth. Honoring the water carriers and others who have longer tenures doesn’t mean being stuck in the status quo, which leads us to the importance of cultivating a culture of wise change.
2. CULTIVATE A CULTURE OF WISE CHANGE
New and, yes, younger team members often come in with many ideas. Enthusiasm may need to be curbed, but we never want to squelch it. While contemplating change, leaders must ultimately make the call, but they do not have to act in isolation. When new ideas are presented, pair the person with the new idea with a water carrier. The purpose is not for the water carrier to approve the project. It’s an exploratory session to compare the new concept with similar initiatives from the past. What was learned before? Was the previous initiative successful? If so, why? If not, why not? The water carrier and the idea throwers become a team. They collaborate to develop a visual comparing the new idea to a past initiative and create a list of questions or thoughts for further consideration. The wisdom here is that leadership is honoring those with longevity as well as the newbies. The team bonds and ideas improve when past initiatives connect with future possibilities.
To further cultivate a culture of wise change, conducting periodic STOP DOING sessions, as Jim Collins (follow him on Twitter @level5leaders) described in his bestseller, From Good to Great, is another strategy for wise change. To avoid bias, a neutral third party should mediate the session. Utilize someone who is from a different department, another branch, or an outside consultant. Also, to invite thoughtful responses from all, especially those who are hesitant to speak up in a meeting, allow your team to reflect independently before the meeting and require a written list as an entry ticket to attend the meeting. The objective is to provide each person with time to reflect before they are on the spot to contribute. Their STOP DOING list can include just one contribution or several.
Before the STOP DOING brainstorming session, clarification that the session is not a promise to cease all practices on the list is imperative. Instead, it’s an opportunity to offer feedback regarding practices, rules, and/or procedures that need reevaluation. The decision to either discontinue, improve, or better communicate the reasoning behind a practice is saved for another day. However, to demonstrate that the input is valued, feedback on the STOP DOING list must be timely.
STOP DOING lists and SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) sessions can offer valuable insights. Nevertheless, change for the sake of change is whimsical and a waste of limited resources. A culture of wise and collaborative change creates bonds. Laughing and a little friendly competition also creates bonds, so consider playing games. (TIPS ON HOW TO FACILITATE A STOP DOING LIST SESSION ARE AVAILABLE AT THE END OF THIS ARTICLE.)
3. PLAY GAMES
I’ve purposely avoided stereotypes of the younger generation entering the workforce (the next section debunks these stereotypes). But let’s face it, they have learned by playing games. I know because I taught them. Gamification is simply applying game elements in what are traditionally non-game environments. What better way to get a new employee to demonstrate knowledge of the employee handbook or company mission than with a game? Consider using interactive games for more engagement in meetings. Everyone, young and old, likes novelty and most enjoy a little friendly competition. The key is to have a clear objective for the game because we all appreciate having our time respected. Games are collegial; assumptions are divisive. (LINE-UP IS A SIMPLE STRATEGY TO ENGAGE EMPLOYEES. DIRECTIONS ARE AT THE END OF THIS ARTICLE.)
4. STOP ASSUMING
I’ve wrestled with whether assumptions are inherently inconsiderate. And I’ve decided, yes, they are. Perhaps not always rude, but assuming disregards thoughtful consideration. Stereotypes are assumptions. The youngest Millennials are approaching 30. Generation Z is entering the workplace. And well, let’s face it, the baby boomers are either dead or preparing for retirement (except me). Each generation has been labeled with pseudo characteristics solely because they were born in a given timespan. Therefore, I’m purposely not mentioning the stereotypes of either of these so-called generations because that will perpetuate them.
University of Maryland sociology professor Philip N. Cohen recently wrote the following in a Washington Post opinion piece entitled “Generation labels mean nothing: It’s time to retire them.”
“The supposed boundaries between generations are no more meaningful
than the names they’ve been given. There is no research identifying the
appropriate boundaries between generations, and there is no empirical basis
for imposing the sweeping character traits that are believed to define them.
Generation descriptors are either embarrassing stereotypes or caricatures with
astrology-level vagueness.”
Suspend judgment. If an employee of any age demonstrates a negative characteristic, don’t lower the standard to appease. Don’t write off a poor work ethic or lousy attitude as an inherent attribute just because someone is a specific generation. Don’t assume older team members are computer illiterate. Don’t assume younger team members are digital geniuses. Each individual is just that - individual. Ageism works both ways. Seeing the young as irresponsible or seeing the old as stuck in a rut is insulting.
We must acknowledge our -ism in the workplace and learn to appreciate each other. We must be willing to have difficult conversations when necessary and learn when we need to address outdated policies, ideas, or expectations. We must also appreciate the institution’s history, especially what has happened in the past that has led to success.
Let’s face it, we all have our -ism: elitism, ageism, racism, sexism, etc. It’s what we do with our -ism that counts. Are we aware? Are we addressing our -ism? Are we trying to change it to continuously improve? In the case of ageism and closing generational gaps in the workplace, we must build enduring collegiality.
5. BUILD ENDURING COLLEGIALITY
So long as there are people involved, business is personal. Each team member brings a unique perspective that reflects their context. Context is influenced by circumstances, experience, vocabulary, and frame of mind. The root of miscommunications is often a lack of context, which is why we must be aware of how our context may be quite different from another person’s. Team members of different generations may have different context even though each is guided under the same mission, vision, and policies. As Steven Covey described in the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, the key here is to apply the principle of “seeking first to understand.” A former colleague, T.J. Ross, Middle School Director at The Christ School in Orlando, Florida, modeled the Covey habit by using the phrase “Help me to understand what you are saying.” This phrase leads to a better understanding of another’s idea or point-of-view. Judgment is suspended, and communication is open.
Here’s a simple example of how context can be different from one generation to another. I was recently in a conversation with two 20-something-year-old men. Jake was trying to explain a vehicle. As he was working to retrieve the vehicle’s name, he described it as follows: “It was a Ford. It was a kind of a sedan with four doors and a hatchback”. The other man thought he knew what Jake was describing, but neither could name the car. Because I was also a part of the conversation (just clarifying so you don’t think the old lady was budding in), I offered, “Are you thinking of the Ford Taurus station wagon?” Bingo. Yes, it was a Taurus, but interestingly, “station wagon” was not in their vocabulary. What’s my point? Different generations have different context, and that is OK. Just be polite when you encounter differences.
As we seek to understand the point-of-view of others, we’re also showing that we are willing to learn from each other. Each individual, young and older, veteran and newbie, brings valuable contributions. The key is to see colleagues, not age.
I’ll conclude with a story shared with me by Will, a man in his thirties, who is a colleague of two older women, Debbie and Sarah. Debbie asked Will a question, and his response was, “Yes, ma’am.” Debbie looked at Sarah and said light-heartedly, “Did he just ma’am me?” Will was baffled. Thankfully, he shared, “the three of us had a great working rapport.” The women explained that some women their age don’t want to be called ma’am. Will thought he was being respectful to the women, and they appreciated that. What’s the point? As colleagues, we must take age out of consideration when working with each other. Using first names regardless of age or stature is the norm today. We can suspend the formalities, use first names and develop strong teams.
Ageism, as with any other -ism, has no place in cohesive teams. Honor the experience of water carriers and the fresh insights of new team members. Cultivate a wise culture by building cross-generational teams, seeking feedback, ending assumptions, instilling fun with games, and intentionally building collegiality.
Start a conversation below and/or give me your feedback. I value your thoughts because THOUGHTS COUNT!
Mary Boza Crimmins is a professional writer, researcher, and public speaking coach. Her mission is to support business owners in achieving their goals because they deserve support. Mary understands that time is a scarce, non-renewable resource. There’s not enough time to work in the day-to-day of your business and work on long-term strategies. Mary will help end the frustration and procrastination cycle by completing projects such as updating website content, creating user-friendly handbooks, or writing engaging blogs to distinguish your business. Working with Mary is easy, affordable, and liberating. Get started now with Mary by emailing her at mbcrimmins@gmail.com or completing the contact information at www.marybozacrimmins.com.
TIPS ON HOW TO CONDUCT A STOP DOING LIST SESSION
When possible, have a neutral person conduct the session. If this is not feasible, choose someone who is going to suspend judgment and refrain from interjecting.
Communicate the objective and ground rules before the session and at the beginning of the session.
Reiterate that it is a brainstorming session, not a discussion or debate. A free flow of ideas is essential. The recorder can ask questions to ensure they are accurately capturing the idea but must avoid questions/statements that reflect a judgment on the idea.
At the end of the session, communicate the next steps.
Follow through on the next steps promptly.
Ensure complete transparency by having the list visible throughout the session. One option is to project the typed list onto a screen. Remember to check the technology before the session. Another option is to use the self-stick easel pads and markers.
LINE-UP* - Here’s one way to create teams or simply provide an opportunity for interaction between veteran and newer employees.
Have team members form a line from shortest tenure to longest tenure.
Fold the line by having a team member at one end of the line walk around to face the person at the opposite end.
The rest of the line follows.
The result will be a new person facing someone with longer tenure.
Have two to three questions prepared for each team member to ask and answer. Start with a personal, open-ended question, such as “Describe the best place you’ve ever visited.” or “Describe your favorite book or tv (Netflix, Hulu, etc.) program.”
*Line-up is a strategy of Kagan Publishing and Professional Development
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